The 1 Thing You Need to Know About Love

It’s easy to misunderstand love… and Hollywood doesn’t help. The spark of meeting someone new is always painted more vividly than the day-in, day-out routine of living with a constant companion. The first kiss is always portrayed better than the thousandth.

In Hollywood’s eye’s love is passion, emotion, adventure and ecstasy. And we’ve bought in. Which is why the minute those things begin to fade, we begin to worry. Maybe we’ve fallen out of love? Maybe they weren’t the right one after all? Maybe I just need to do what makes me happy?

Wrong, wrong and wrong.



Here’s the thing about love that Hollywood hasn’t figured out: it’s an action, not an emotion. The true, committed, “death do us part” kind of love is something we do in spite of how we feel, not because of it.

This is the very thing God tells us in one of the most well-known Bible passages on the subject. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 God speaks to us about what love is and isn’t. As He defines it, love is far more of a posture than an emotion; a way of living and interacting with the person in front of you that goes beyond the heat of the moment. God says:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Notice anything mysteriously missing from this description of love? How about emotion? Passion? That spark? No matter how many times I read it, it’s just not in there. Instead, God describes behavior. He gives us a list of do’s and don’ts. Why? Because God understands something about love that we often miss.

Here’s the bottom line about love:

“Love is not something you have or don’t,
it’s something you either do or won’t.”

Make no mistake, the way that God describes love in 1 Corinthians 13 is clear: Love is a choice. It’s not something you feel, it’s something you do. Love is a daily decision. What does that mean? It means:

You’ll either be patient with your spouse or you won’t…

You’ll either be kind with your words or you won’t…

You’ll either let go of the past or you won’t…

You’ll either commit for the long-haul or you won’t…


Love chooses to keep going, to keep serving and to keep forgiving even when it’s tired. It chooses to keep up it’s end of the deal, to stay faithful to it’s side of the vows and to keep pursuing the good of the whole instead of just concerning itself with ‘my half’ even when the gestures isn’t reciprocated or appreciated.

Love is a daily decision; and the true, committed, “death do us part” kind of love makes the right decision.

So don’t miss it.

Don’t fall for Hollywood’s version of it.

Simply remember this 1 thing about love:  Love isn’t something you have or you don’t, it’s something you’ll either do or you won’t.


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